Private Disturbance
Digital Prints | 84 x 12 in | 2004
Private Disturbance is a visual interpretation of depression presented in narrative form. Zoloft commercials give us a gloomy-looking ball that doesn’t bounce anymore, while others use a greatly concerned voice to ask us if we feel trapped, overwhelmed, or unable to find joy in things that used to interest us. Reducing depression to a ball that should be bouncing or a variety of common feelings doesn’t do it justice.
The medical field uses vague terms such as “mild”, “severe”, and “major” to describe levels of the illness. I have chosen to focus on six stages of depression based on personal experience and research. Private Disturbance is designed to take the viewer through some of the emotional and mental stages of depression.
Subtle Presence introduces depression as unrecognizable in the beginning. It could be the day you wake up to see the same picture on the wall, but something’s not quite right. Shifting Perspective is about the way reality changes. It’s the same story you’ve always told yourself and everyone else, but now it’s told differently. If flowed so smoothly you didn’t really notice, and you don’t think anyone else did either, or at least you hope not. Mind Games is the next stage. This is when depression begins to disturb mental functions such as the ability to make decisions and make sense out of everyday situations. Everything looks like it should be familiar, but it’s not.
Excessive Force can often be traumatic. Everyone reacts differently to pressure. Some may be rendered incapacitated or unable to function at all. Others may still operate, but each step now takes every last bit of will power. Battlefield is about the chemical battle in the brain. Depression is often described as a chemical imbalance. The mind is considered the most powerful organ. It can do awful things to itself and the body when it is fighting against itself. The emotional stress of this war often seems too much to bear. At this point many fantasize about death. No Prisoners is about this desire to escape.